Communication is the key to a successful relationship, but how exactly do we communicate? These 10 ways will make talking with your partner easier.
Every love expert says that communication is the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Sounds easy, right? Well, not really. Communication is complex, difficult to do and leaves many of us wondering how we can communicate in a way that expresses our emotions without hurting our partner.
Since every person is different, there is no formula on how to communicate openly and honestly with your significant other. Ultimately, it boils down to how well you know each other and how in tune you are with your own emotions. Today, I’m sharing some valuable tips I’ve learned that will help communicating with your partner easier and more fruitful.
Let’s get to it.
1. Talk Face-To-Face
Emails, texting and online messaging should not be used to talk to your SO about important matters. Not even a “We need to talk” message is acceptable is it only serves to mentally torture your partner. Communicating via these methods can lead to misunderstanding and misinterpretation. Talking in person is a sign of respect for your relationship — you’re letting your partner know that whatever you want to talk about is important to you and that you respect your partner’s feelings and role in the relationship and want to get their opinion firsthand. This sets the precedent for sorting out future disagreements.
2. The Right Time
No one wants to talk about serious things when they’re angry, busy or just not in the mood. You have to find the right timing if you want to have a serious discussion about what’s bothering you. You should also catch your partner in a good mood as he or she will be more open-minded and welcoming of your feelings and thoughts.
3. Be Honest
The old adage holds true, honesty is still and will always be the best policy. One of the reasons why you want to communicate with your significant other is because you want to talk things through or find a solution to a problem. You can’t communicate effectively if you keep holding back. So, say everything that is on your mind and speak truthfully. It is always best to be honest.
4. Make Eye Contact
I hate it when people can’t even look at you when you talk to them. I believe the same thing holds true when you’re trying to communicate with your lover and yet, he or she can’t even make eye contact. If you want to express yourself, look your partner dead in the eyes and say exactly what you’re feeling without holding back.
5. Attack Mode Off
No one wants to talk to someone who is aggressive and defensive. If you want to talk, do it calmly. Nothing good comes out of fighting, so instead take a deep breath and approach your significant other in a calm and collected manner. This cools the flames and will prompt your partner to respond in a similar way.
6. Speak Up
One of the rules I’d like to share with you is the 48-hour rule. Not all people want to discuss an issue right away. Often, they wait a couple of days to think carefully about how they’re feeling and what they want to say before they do. Two days of thinking and lamenting is more than enough. If you’re still bothered by the 3rd day, this means that you should unload and talk to your partner already (keeping in mind all the other tips too).
7. Pause For A Sec
If you’re angry, just pause and stop for a second. I’ve mentioned earlier that nothing good will come from a heated argument and it will just make things worse for the both of you. Before you say anything you might regret, pause and get yourself together first.
8. Think About The Next Step
After pausing, think! Think of what’s the best thing to say and do. The problem with heated arguments is that people no longer think about what they should say. Moreover, thinking allows you to focus on the problem and focus on finding a solution rather than simply trying to win the argument.
9. Don’t Hear, Listen
By now, I’m sure you already know the difference between hearing and listening. To make communication effective, both of you should be willing to listen to each other. So after pausing, thinking and talking, it’s time to listen to each other’s thoughts, insights and opinion and find common ground.
10. It’s Just A Fight
Having a fight or talking about a serious issue is not the end of a relationship. Realize that this is just a bump in the road that you need to go through as it will actually make your relationship better and stronger at the end. After that realization, don’t forget to tell each why you love each other. At the end of the day, you’re willing to lay vulnerable and bear in front of this person because you love and trust them.
Relationships will always be tricky, but finding effective ways to communicate will make your relationship stronger and more stable. My last piece of advice? Speak your mind, check your ego at the door and tell your partner how much they mean to you. After all, you’re doing all this because you know it’s worth it!