Parenting is hard work. I’ve never heard a mom or dad say otherwise.
A balance of nurture, discipline and enjoyment can be nearly impossible to achieve. But as long as you attempt to create that balance, your family will be happier. You just have to know the right steps to take.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being a parent is just tough work all the way through. No, not at all. Just like everything in life, whenever you put in the work, expect something good will come out of it. With parenting, the stakes are higher because it is your children’s happiness and character that’s at stake.
Nonetheless, let me try and help guide you on what the right steps to take are. Here are 10 parenting tips that have been proven to be very beneficial for the family:
1. Laugh With Them
Laughter nourishes the soul and laughing together creates a closer bond between parent and child. Things around the home can get hectic and you really don’t want that stressful environment around the kids every time. Hence, role play with them, share jokes with them, don’t be afraid to laugh with your kids over silly trivial things. As they say, laughter is the best medicine and in this case, it is the best medicine that will bring you closer to your kids.
2. Stay Positive
At home, it is very important that you always stay positive around the children. Fact is, if you handle kids in a rough manner, there’s a good chance they’ll also be rough by the age of 5. Behavioral aggression starts at this age and will continue until their adults. Hence, if you find yourself losing your temper, pause and breathe. Talk to your kids in a way they’ll understand and always focus on positive comments.
3. Take Care of Yourself
Being a parent doesn’t mean you only have time for the kids. Remember, a mother must be a whole person in order to be a good mother to her children. And when I mean whole, I mean that you are emotionally, mentally and physically stable. If you think you are suffering from depression, talk to a doctor and seek treatment. You might be able to pass on the negativity to your children and that’s not good at all. Take care of yourself and your mental health in particular.
4. Be Closer With the Boys
The bond between parent and child is detrimental in their growing up. The truth is, the more attached you are to the kids and vice versa, the better chance that behavioral problems will arise. Furthermore, it is also important for a mother to take that extra mile and be closer to their sons. Studies show that a closer bond with mom are linked to better relationships, which also means that your son will more likely be more respectful and caring of their partners in the future.
5. Lighten Up
Are you being too hard on yourself? If you are, stop it right now. One of the aspects of parenting that can really take a toll on a mother is the guilt she feels…like when she lost her temper, didn’t give in to her child’s request and etc. Thing is, if you can’t forgive yourself and do not practice self-compassion, you’ll eventually explode, figuratively speaking. Don’t keep it all in, forgive yourself and lighten up.
6. Aim for Best
There’s no point being a perfectionist when it comes to parenting because you are not dealing with a mere task, you are dealing with humans and complex humans at that. There’s no one-size-fits-all template to parenting, which is why you can’t aim for perfection. Remember, there’s no perfect parent in the world, but every parent tries his or her best! And that’s because every child is beautifully different from one another.
7. Be Supportive
The first place to give support to your child is your own home. While you may not support everything your child wants to do, make sure you explain why and at least reach a compromise. Just saying “NO” without any reason is not productive and will result in a relationship gap which you don’t want to happen. Also, research showed that children who are closer to supportive parents are less likely to cave in to peer pressure.
8. Give Them Space
The older kids gets, the more space they will need. I know you miss the old times when all your child wanted was being with you. However, you must also respect their space and privacy. This is actually very productive because when kids use their own time, they find themselves missing you at the end of the day. And that’s a whole lot better than your kids feeling too guarded all day long.
9. Work On Your Marriage
Nurturing a family is not just about a relationship between parents and children. In order to have a healthy familial environment, your marriage should be doing great as well. When there’s marital problems, the kids immediately get affected. Even when they hear you fight, it has a psychological effect on them and you should avoid that at all cost. A stressful home is more problematic in the long-run that you could ever think.
10. Know Them
I’ve mentioned earlier that every child is unique, this is why there’s hand-in-glove technique to parenting. This also means that your kids will be different from one another and this will take extra effort from you to learn more about each of them. What do they like, dislike? What are their dreams? Dig deep and get to know your children. Once you do, you will have a better understanding of how their minds and hearts work, which will then help you determine the right approach to nurturing them.
Indeed, parenting is serious stuff. But at the end of the day, every single effort is worth it. Before I go, I’d like to share with you something I read the other day. It said that the most important times in a child’s day is the first 10 minutes when they wake up, first 10 minutes when you pick them up after school and the last 10 minute before they sleep. If you can, focus on those times to build a healthier relationship with your children. Keep up the good job Mommy!