Holidays are all about sharing the love… or at least trying to. Christmas gatherings should be happy; it’s a time to catch up with each other. So just to make sure the night ends on a high note, keep these Christmas dinner don’ts in mind.

Christmas is the one time of the year when everyone is in a merry and cheery mood. However, the ultimate test of holiday cheeriness is your family Christmas dinner. It can be hard to keep your grin in place when your brother and sister are fighting over who gets what first and that racist uncle of yours is ranting about Obamacare, but as hard as it may be, it’s important to remember to KEEP YOUR COOL. This is why I’m going to help you out.

11 Things You Should Never Say in Christmas Dinners

Even if it means keeping that pained smile in check and being conscious of every single word you speak , staying away from one wrong phrase can spell the different between a joyous dinner and a disastrous night. Sure, your family expects it from your uncle, but they definitely don’t expect it from you. In fact, the reaction will be ten times worse if it comes from you.

This year, make it a point to bid a temporary farewell to the sarcastic in you that’s longing to get out. The goal? Everyone should be smiling by the time dinner is over… and not just because dinner is over. With that said, here are 11 things to NEVER say during family dinners or parties.

1. “No S***”

If only you were on TV and there was a trusty sensor to bleep curse words out, right? But no, there’s not. This is actually a no-brainer that deserves attention as curse words are second nature to most of us, am I right or what? Oftentimes, you don’t even realize what you’ve said until you look at the horrified faces of your family members and realize the words you just uttered.

Check the curses and bad words at the door and bring with you only kind, loving words and compliments that will definitely put a smile on your loved ones’ faces. Doesn’t it feel good to make people smile? Maybe you’ve just found one of your New Year’s resolutions.

2. “That sweater is hella ugly!”

Winter is the best time to wear sweaters and during Christmas, everyone has the freedom to wear whatever sweater they want, whether it’s ugly, ridiculous or completely outrageous.

Don’t like it? Well, too bad because you have no choice but to zip it! Cut these people some slack, it’s Christmas for crying out loud. Say something like “Cool sweater you got there!” instead of “That’s the fugliest sweater I’ve ever seen.” Contain the inner Regina George in you no matter how fabulous you think she is. Rather than being a holiday fashion police, I suggest you join in on the ugly sweater trend and dust off that painfully-hard-to-look-at one you have stuffed in the back of your closet.

3. “This tastes disgusting!”

Christmas is a time to stuff yourself with an amount of food you had no idea you could eat! Which is great if you have full control over what’s being made and how. Let’s face it, you won’t always like your aunt’s fruitcake (who does?) or your grandma’s ham sauce (eww), but regardless of how similar it tastes to a diaper wrapped in Spam then cooked over charcoal then drenched in horseradish, NEVER say how bad it tastes out loud.

It tastes terrible, but you still say it tastes great! In fact, it’s the best thing you’ve ever had in your life. Your family spent time making food for everyone and saying it’s horrible will make them feel as bad as their food tastes. Worst case scenario? Your grandma or aunt decide to not make anything next year and you’re stuck cooking the entire menu yourself. So just suck it up and lie like you’ve never lied before.

4. “Santa ain’t even real.”

Why you gotta burn Santa Clause like that? Regardless if Santa Clause is a fictional character, kids still believe in him because they like the idea of some jolly geezer flying to everyone’s house with his sleigh pulled by reindeer and shimmying down their chimney to deliver gifts they’ve been waiting all year to receive. Don’t be the person to ruin that for them.

Santa Clause is a big part of Christmas so even if you don’t believe in him, just pretend you do and tell your cousins that you’ve met him once and he’s actually a really great guy who’s a tad overworked and loves him some chocolate chip cookies.

5. “I’m right, I’m always right.”

If you may, avoid saying “I told you so,” “I’m right” or anything to that effect. Christmas dinner is for catching up and bonding, not starting or picking verbal arguments with one another.

Opinions are always welcome at the dinner table, but if you have a strong opinion about something and you know for a fact that it can offend someone, just ssshhh. The last thing you’d want to do is to start World War 3 at home… unless your goal was to pick a good ol’ food fight! Then again, that rarely happens and why would you want to throw food around instead of eat it? Unless it’s your grandma’s ham sauce.

6. “Do you have the return receipt?”

Wow! What a neatly wrapped present! So you ripped the wrapper open, open the box, scavenge through it and it was not what you were expecting at all. In fact, it’s not EVEN close to what you were expecting. And even more to the point, you distinctly remember seeing that in the store and thinking it should have been burned. Well, even if it’s not what you wanted, it’s not the end of the world.

Many would ask if the gift giver has the return receipt, which frankly, is very offensive. Unless you’re changing it for a different size, asking for the receipt clearly shows you’re not happy with the gift and you want to choose something else. Talk about insensitive, huh? But I know you’re not that kind of person. At least, not on Christmas.

7. “This isn’t what I asked for.”

So you didn’t get the gift you like, so what? You can’t just say “I don’t like this, this isn’t what I asked for” after someone spent their hard-earned money to buy you a Christmas present. Imagine if you had given someone a gift they absolutely hated? Would you want to hear those discontented words? Don’t think so.

Just say “Thank You” and at least pretend like it’s the gift you’ve been wanting all year long. Pretend you the dog above — he doesn’t look happy, but he’s trying his best to make it seem like he is. Truth is, we don’t always get what we want in life, but we’re darn lucky if we do!

8. “Mom has been drinking since morning.”

Okay, the family doesn’t really need to know that. She may be really drunk on champagne or white wine by lunch time but there’s no point in saying that out loud. And even if mom, dad, your aunt or uncle has a drinking problem, you don’t need to tell everyone about it. It completely ruins the mood and will make your family dinner even more awkward, so keep family issues private for at least one day.

9. “I’m super bored.”

Sure, you’re not always thrilled to go to all the Christmas parties and dinners lined up in your schedule this season. But, there’s really no excuse to show how bored or uninterested you are once you’re there. Show some appreciation to the host and hostess and tell them what a lovely party they’ve put together. Even if you would much rather watch your toenails grow in the comfort of your own home. Avoid telling anyone that you’re bored to death and you can’t wait to go home. 

Having fun is really up to you. If you come to a party already uninterested, you’re going to be uninterested and miserable. Be positive and expect that you’ll have a fun time because that’s when you’ll actually make more effort to do so. Just sayin’.

10. “We broke up!”

Sorry to hear that you’ve broken up with your significant other, especially during this time of year. We know you feel bad, we know you’re sad, but please don’t sob through the entire Christmas dinner telling anyone who will listen that they were the one for you and you’ll never love again.

Your family and friends are excited to have a fun night, which I’m sure doesn’t happen often with your busy schedules. So please, set aside your love problems, let go and just have fun! After all that relationship stress, you deserve a fruitful and happy holiday! Believe that!

11. “I have this, I have that.”

I know people who take Christmas dinners and parties as an opportunity to boast about what they have. Showing off your new car, watch or expensive gadgets isn’t the best way to greet friends and family. Christmas isn’t the time to be boastful, or even make other people feel less compared to you. Unless your Ricky Bobby who pisses excellence every morning, we think it’s best to stay humble this Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas dinners, feast your eyes on Gordon Ramsay’s Ultimate Christmas Dinner to get ideas on what to prepare for your upcoming family holiday gathering.

Christmas only happens once a year and let’s make it count. Let’s spread love, encourage peace and harmony within friends and family so we can all enjoy the holidays and look back at 2015 with big smiles on our faces.
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Featured image via RadioTimes