Has your relationship or the absence of one come to a point where you ask yourself, “What are we?” 

Is It Time to Ask ‘What Are We?’

I’m sure you’ll agree when I say that falling in love is one of the most exhilarating feelings in the world. It makes your stomach turn inside out and it makes your heart beat so fast that you never knew it was even humanly possible to do that. It makes you overthink and overthink more. Do you feel these symptoms? Honey, you are in love.

The question to ask now is, does your object of affection feel the same way? You’re asking the “What are we?” question because you don’t have any idea of how they really feel. Yes, you go out. Yes, they send you sweet and caring messages, yes, they seem loving, but still, nothing is confirmed until it comes from the horse’s mouth (not that your significant other is a horse).

The problem with us women is that we always think twice about making the first move, or in this case, asking this lingering question. But dear, you can’t wait forever, right? Is it time to ask? Maybe, maybe not but I will give you some tips on how to go about such a situation. Let’s begin:

1. You still want to think it through.

We are all intelligent beings but being a female means we subject ourselves to overthinking and most often than not, it doesn’t help us in any way. Admit it, you overthink too and the best reason as to why you do this is because you want to cover all your bases.

You build this scenario in your head, it’s a complete setting. You go through each possible situation that can happen once you broach the subject and ask the dreaded question. You go through each possible line that you could possibly hear and think of the myriad of replies in your arsenal. That is what gives you confidence and tells you that you’re ready to push through with the mission.

The truth is ladies, there is a very high percentage that even if you think you’ve gone through everything in your head, the outcome will be something unexpected. It can either go good or bad but trust me when I say, what you’ve been thinking for weeks is most likely what won’t happen when the moment comes.

So let me ask you this now, why go through overthinking if you can’t possibly map out all the scenarios possible? It will just make you crazy and those brain cells are better used somewhere else. The fact of the matter is, your confidence and readiness is all in the mind, which I can honestly say just boils down to whether you’re still scared or not to know the real deal…. which brings us to my next point.

2. You are still scared.

If you are still scared, then you are probably terrified of knowing the truth. What if the person you’re falling in love with is just a total flirt? What if they just enjoy your company? What if they’re not really all that into you? And what if they don’t feel the same way at all? Truth is, you are still not ready to face the answers, let alone, accept your fate.

I can’t really blame you. You’ve been enjoying their company for weeks/months. You adore them. You think they’re probably the one for you. You want to make the blissful feeling last as long as you can and if avoiding the answers is what it takes, then you’ll do just that.

But let me ask you, how long are you going to avoid the answers you are dying to know? How long will you make this last without knowing if your so-called relationship really has substance? Do you think it is worth wasting time to wait?

No. It isn’t. You can’t just throw away time that you’ll never get back, ladies. Know what the real deal is between the two of you. “What are we?” Are we more than friends? Are we a couple? Are we going to do this exclusively or not? Know this — you deserve your answers! You have invested time and effort into this friendship/relationship and it’s about time you know where it is going.

3. You are still waiting for the right time to ask.

So you say the right time hasn’t come yet? When it comes to asking the question, there’s really no right time to ask, darling. Listen, you have to create the perfect time. What is the perfect time? The moment you realize that you can’t overthink and be scared anymore because you just have to know!

The moment you know you’re ready, there is no more fear as to how the conversation will go. Of course, you hope for the best but then again, you expect the worse. You hope for forever, yet, you are ready for the pain. Because girl, that is falling in love, it doesn’t always turn out the way we hoped. But when the stars align and we do it right, everything falls into place and things turn out better than we imagine!

I’m sure you’ve heard this too many times. Love is taking risks and that is true. But one thing I’d like to point out is that you have to know which risks are worth taking and which aren’t. Do you think this person is worth the risk of feeling rejected and hurt when they may not feel the same way? Do you think this person is worth the risk of going through the stress of all this with that chance of ending up happy? I’ll leave the answers to you.

But please, don’t wait, don’t be scared and don’t wait for that perfect time to know the answer you deserve. Take the plunge. It’s simply just about asking and crossing your fingers (and toes) for a great answer. If not, well, move on cause I’m sure you’ll find that person who’ll always be crossing their fingers and toes for you.

But before you make that move, make sure you’re not being friendzoned. Here’s how to tell:

Need some more relationship advice? Here are 8 Signs You’re Crazy In Love.